Do I get a prize for watching my mother-in-law eat like a five year old?

Seriously. It's a real question.

Who eats an ear of corn with half a cup of mayonnaise?

What grown ass woman eats the toppings off a homemade pizza and leaves the crust?

What person over the age of 6 can get away with eating the garlic part of garlic bread, and putting the rest back in the serving basket?

Who declares they're trying to lose weight, only to gum 1000 calories worth of sour cream at dinner?

It may be cute when a baby does it, but not when your mother-in-law does!

What adult holds their plate out for you to serve them, without asking? Just waits for you to serve them with no "please" or "thank you"?

Who hasn't cooked a meal in a month, but complains about having to bring her plate to the kitchen after eating?

My mother-in-law, everyone.

In Armenia there was this concept of a hars.... a daughter in law whose main job in life is to please the new mother in law. One of the patriarchs of a local family I knew there once told me "shat lav hars klines mi or" - you'll make a good hars one day! I laughed in his face at the idea.

I have become a fucking hars, everyone.

My patience is wearing thin.